This is Charlotte Free. She is a model, she keeps a personal tumblr (shocking, I know) and someone asked her on that tumblr how she felt about ?all of the negative accusations? against Terry Richardson. Richardson is that guy who looks like your creepy gym teacher in the 80s, takes photos for American Apparel, masturbates in front of models and is either trying really really hard to stay relevant or just having a really good time (I can?t tell which). According to the Fashion Spot, Free ?has entertained a very cozy relationship with Richardson over the course of her career.? Here?s Free?s response to the question in a now-deleted post:
a: ?i love terry?s raw sexuality, it?s one of the things i really admire about him. Terry likes to do sexy stuff, that?s his shit. If you don?t wanna be part of it, make it clear in the beginning. Don?t willingly blow the man and get all mad and ashamed later?I hate when girls say ?but he asked me to.? you should have said no then, stupid bitch! there?s plenty of other girls waiting in line, so he?s not forcing you to do shit. When you make a choice you have to live with it ? unless someone got you fucked up against your will. Thats how I feel about it.?
So: That is not the most sisterhood-y of all answers, to be sure. And while not willingly blowing a man and then getting all ashamed about it later is good advice, it doesn?t seem especially pertinent in this situation in light of the word willingly. It?s a complicated word that, as you can see?
?does not only imply doing something in the?absence?of force but doing something ?gladly,? ?eagerly? and ?ungrudgingly.? Is there a chance that some individuals who blow their bosses do so gladly, eagerly and ungrudgingly? Of course. But when the person who wants to put their penis in your mouth also controls how much work, money or opportunity you get, it?s a little harder to distinguish between ?willing? and ?coerced.?
?Free doesn?t believe people should be held accountable for sexual harassment or assault if they don?t forcibly hold someone down and have sex with them against their will, and well, I guess that?s an opinion,? writes?Nika Mavrody at Fashion Spot.
But it?s one that?privileges?Terry?s comfort and happiness above anyone else?s: There?are??plenty of other girls waiting in line,? and the young women given the chance to photograph with one of the fashion industry?s most prominent photographers are going to do what it takes to make him happy. That shouldn?t have to include interfacing with his penis.
Jamie Peck, at our sister site The Gloss,?was a model for Richardson when she was 19. He pulled his dick out and asked for a handjob. She obliged. There were other people in the room. Everyone acted normal about it.?She was 19. This is not assault. But this is not behavior that should be condoned. It?s coercive. It?s abuse of power. And, yes, it?s sexual harassment. Just because it?s someone?s job to look pretty or sexy?or even to engage in ?sex work??that doesn?t make it okay to use your position of power over them for personal sexual gain. It?s amazing how often people forget that.
All of that being said ? it?s not much better than condoning Richardson?s behavior to demand that all ?victims? of this sort of thing feel the same way about it. It?s gets weird and squishy to say ?coercion is in the eye of the beholder??and that is not, exactly, what I?m saying?but there?s a dangerous Outrage Requirement when it comes to stories like these. Or an easy tendency to strip agency from the coerced.?You can be asked by a person in a position of power over you to give them a handjob and feel psyched about it, though. You can be coerced and feel shitty about it and still make a rational decision to go along with it.
During Christmas break my freshman year of college, I worked at a mall cigar store where it was a Christmas Eve day tradition for employees to drink on the clock. At once point, alone in the storage room with my 30-something boss, he pulled his dick out. I told him it wasn?t a good idea, went back to the main store area and went back to work at the cigar shop the subsequent two Christmas breaks.
When I?d tell that story to the?occasional?person later in life, they tended to get offended or confused by my continuing to work there. But I liked the job, I liked the people and I even liked my boss when he wasn?t pulling his cock out in the storage room (something he never tried again, for the record.). I was young(ish), but not stupid, and one incident of this type didn?t seem worth fussing over. I stand by that decision. I?d stand by a teen girl in a similar situation storming out and not coming back.
Sexual?harassment?as a concept is abstract and broad; individual experiences are ? well, individual. Nuanced. And specific. The moral of the story is we don?t get to go around telling each other how to feel about sexual?harassment in our own lives. ?But he asked you to?? Say yes. Say no. Say yes and then no. There?s no wrong answer?except calling other women ?dumb bitches? for their answers.
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